In Other Words 01-07-11

Ghosts From New Year’s Past; Some Great Internet Trivia

WHERE DID THE YEAR GO? I have to wonder why it went by like greased lightning. Looking back for ideas that I could use for this column, I realized that events that seemed so far in the past, actually took play only a few months ago.
Nothing much happened in January, but in February I got stopped by the Border Patrol for setting off their geiger counter at the check point on Hwy. 78.
It wasn’t that I was smuggling plutonium. I had a nuclear heart scan done the day before and the residue set off their machine. The Border Patrol frowns on anything that sets off its machines.
But after a few minutes I was cleared and on my way once again, but I was more than a little chagrined. They even asked for papers! Like a cheap B movie from the forties. I could imagine a suspicious looking fellow in a trenchcoat saying “Your papers are not in order.” Well, turns out I didn’t need any papers after all. But next time I may wait a couple of days to travel. Oh, and the test proved conclusively that I do have a heart!
TWO YEARS AGO – FEB. 26, 2009  TO BE EXACT – I WROTE: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN HOLTVILLE?  We’re not sure anybody  over there knows.
The city’s police protection is being negotiated with the county. The voters have been disenfranchised. Candidates for the city council are showing up because they DON’T have to be elected; and the council is giving away funds that were earmarked for other projects.
Through all this, nobody on the city council raises an objection or even concern over any proposal brought before it by the city staff.
So,  Council Members, who is it who speaks for the people or even listens to them?
Well, since those mighty words were written, we actually got to vote on our council members. and nobody else  was appointed to a four year term. So now we still have three people who didn’t get elected even though one of them  was appointed by default. Nobody ran against him.
Our new police department – the County Sheriff’s Department – is in place, but the officers aren’t well known to anybody the way they were when the force was home grown. We’d like to see some stats on how they are doing in fighting crime as opposed to the local force they replaced. Anybody out there feel any safer these days?
And there is no word about us lowly citizens getting to vote on a city manager. That would be an interesting  vote, wouldn’t it?
1. Money isn’t made out of paper; it’s made out of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp marijuana paper.
3. The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a ‘tittle.’
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
6. 40% of McDonald’s profits come from the sales of Happy meals.
7. 315 entries in Webster ‘s 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
8. The ‘spot’ on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes.  He was albino.
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
11. Chocolate affects a dog’s heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small-sized dog.
12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the
shark’s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
13. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.
15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.
16. Upper- and lower-case letters are named ‘upper’ and lower’
because in the time when all original print had to be set in
individual letters, the Upper case’ letters were stored in the case on
top of the case that stored the smaller, ‘lower case’ letters.
17. Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time, hence multi-tasking was invented.
18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during world War II were made of wood.
19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before!
21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: range and purple.
22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors.  Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa’s lips.
23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go
mad and sting itself to death
24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original Halloween’ was a Captain Kirk’s mask painted white.
25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar  good to know.)
26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can’t sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)
27. The phrase ‘rule of thumb’ is derived from an old English  law,
which stated that you couldn’t beat your life with anything wider than your thumb.
28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.  It’s the same with apples.
30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!
31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified  osher.
32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.
34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart, “Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she’s behind bars. O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around;  Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her off to jail.”